1. I will never have friends who hate being late as much as I do.
  2. When I get really buttfaced drunk, my “game” improves at least tenfold.  Case in point:  I got wrecked both nights this weekend and took home a combined 5 numbers.  How?… Polar Bear Line bitches.
  3. My story about my ex will never stop being funny.  I’ve told so many people this story that it deserves its own post.  But basically I found pictures of her on her computer that involved her being tied up and blindfolded with see-through lingerie on.  I remember calling both Joe (muppetpants) and Nick and asking what exactly I should do.  I laughed and drank myself into a stupor for days.
  4. I have a small thing for blondes.  Just saying.  Not the be-all-end-all but it’s been a trend lately I guess.
  5. I measure the success of a night by how many new people I meet.  So this night and last night were both tremendously successful.  Cool people all around and good times to complement them.
  6. Getting back home at 5:00 in the morning in Chicago means that it’s not going to be dark out when you get home.  This is the 2nd time this summer I’ve come back home as the sun prepared to rise from its dark shadows of night.  Not as dramatic as it sounds… More dizzy and incoherent.
  7. Nights when you and your friends are really drunk and keep repeating parts to Bill O’ Reilly’s meltdown on Inside Edition are awesome.  “…I can’t do it.   No FUCK IT!  I’LL REWRITE IT AND WE’LL DO IT LIVE!  FUCKIN THING SUCKS!”